Luna plays up her sensual side in these black and white boudoir images.
Model & MUA: Luna
Photographer: Elizabeth Anne Taylor
Question: Beth, my good friend, Jane, just confided in me that her college-age son, “John” (that’s the name I know him by), just came out to her as being a trans-woman and planning to transition. I’m close to “John” as well. How I can I support my friend and her child?
(Question adapted from recent conversations with clients and friends)
Answer: Dear Ally-in-Training, I’m so excited that you are supporting your friend and her child. I don’t have all the answers by any means, but here are some things to think about to help you support both of your friends.
First, I suggest talking to Jane and John (if you are friends with both) to find out what John’s preferred name and pronouns are. Your friend may not have realized to ask this question or may not have shared this level of detail with you yet.
Here are some possible scenarios:
By asking John directly what is preferred, you can then use John’s preferred name and pronouns in context and thus show support. Also, you can avoid outing John unintentionally by finding out John’s preferences.
Second, I suggest building your knowledge and your own support team as needed. Read up on the transgender experience so you can better understand what John may be going through. You can find a basic overview of transgender people at the Human Rights Campaign website including how to support them. PFLAG has an extensive primer called “Our Trans Loved Ones: Questions and Answers for Parents, Families, and Friends of People who are Transgender or Gender Expansive.” As you learn more from John and Jane, you can fine tune your research and reading.
You and Jane may benefit from a local support network for friends and family members of LGBTQ+ people. PFLAG has over 400 chapters across nearly all 50 states, Puerto Rico, and the District of Columbia. You can find a local chapter here. Read about why PFLAG exists and how society’s attitudes towards LGBTQ+ people have changed since 1973 when PFLAG began its work.
Ask John directly what kind of support is desired. Perhaps John wants to go shopping with you or Jane for gender-affirming clothes, hair, makeup, etc. or maybe John wants to this alone or with friends of college age. Each person is different in their journey and how they like to be supported.
Third, I suggest that you or Jane look into resources for John, who may already be well-connected or may have no clue about where to start. Or encourage John to do this kind of search. Your local LGBT Center and LGBT Medical/Health Center can be key to finding what you need.
In conclusion, listen to John and how they want to be supported. Be affirming with your use of John’s preferred name(s)/pronouns. Learn about the transgender community on your own so you have a framework of understanding when John describes experiences and feelings to you. Learn about resources for Jane and John so you can point them in the right direction(s) when they are ready. Encourage Jane to work through these steps too. This is not an exhaustive list of resources on how to be a good ally, but it should get you started in a positive direction.
Good luck and much happiness to you all on the journey ahead!
Join the DC Trans Ladies Meetup in a modern, dark, stylish room with full bar, a kick-ass sound system, and great food at Hanaro Restaurant and Lounge on Saturday, Dec. 8. From 7:30 p.m. to 9 p.m., women and their guests will enjoy awesome sushi and a pan-Asian menu. After dinner, we will mingle with the other patrons and gradually take over the bar, dancing if you wish.
Dinner: Fun atmosphere. Locally popular and highly regarded on Yelp, and deservedly so. Members of the DC Trans Ladies group and their guests only. Main event is open to all. Important to RSVP here so we have an accurate headcount for the restaurant.
Main Soiree: Starting 9ish, we mingle with the other patrons and gradually take over the bar. Dance. Or just inhale raw fish and Sapporo drafts. It’s all good. Due to the venue and format change, this event will be publicly listed and all are invited, including gentlemen. This change does not necessarily apply to future Soirees. View the main soiree event and RSVP here.
Dress: This is not the Ramada Inn and this is not a “gala,” so do not wear a sparkly floor-length gown. Wear either smart casual/neighborhood bar attire, or something just slightly dressier than that, such as a relatively plain cocktail dress. If uncertain, better to be more casual than formal.
Parking: The municipal garages are free on Saturdays; Hanaro is about 2 blocks from either the Woodmont Triangle garage (on Woodmont) and the St. Elmo/Cordell garage (you can enter from St. Elmo, just one long block west of Hanaro). Park on the street if you wish, but you will have to pay until 10 p.m. 12 minute walk from Bethesda Metro (Red Line).
Lodging: The Doubletree Bethesda is just 2 blocks away and welcomes us with open arms. Free parking is available at the city garage on weekends and is an easier fit for large vehicles (like SUVS, minivans, and pickup trucks) than the hotel parking garage, which has a daily fee.
Makeup Makeovers: Beth will be providing makeup makeovers at her home studio in Cabin John, Maryland.
My wife, Giselle Donnelly, is now living as herself full-time, and I couldn’t be prouder of her! She works as a scholar at a Washington think tank so she’s a bit of a public figure. As such, Washington Post reporter Josh Rogin wrote a column on her transition, work, and the documentary short film covering our love story. The Makeover will premiere at the Alexandria Film Festival on Saturday, Nov. 10. Tickets may be purchased at eventbrite.
•Live Acoustic Americana Music by Swamppoodle featuring Steph, Steve, and Giselle. Band will play in our backroom.
•Fire pit in the front circle garden with a s’mores station, weather permitting.
•Fall and Harvest-themed foods such as chili and cornbread
•Wine and beer
What to bring: Bring a beverage or healthy food item to share, preferably in the harvest/fall theme. (No birthday gifts, please.)
•I would love for us to taste test several chilis if you all feel up to the task. Come on, all you chili experts, cook up your best chili and bring it on over! This is not a competition, simply an exhibition!
•Please let us know what you plan to bring, especially if involves chili! This will really help out our menu planning.
What to wear: Fall and harvest-themed attire. Casual clothing is good as fire pits, s’mores, and chili aren’t kind to clothing.
•One example: jeans, boots, flannel shirt, cowgirl hat, big belt buckle. Another example: A-line dress, denim or leather jacket, tights, scarf, and booties.
•We are inviting the neighbors, family, and Giselle’s coworkers so no fetish attire, please.
Who: Friends, neighbors, clients, and coworkers of Beth and Giselle including members of the DC Trans Ladies Meetup group
When: Friday, November 9, 2018 from 7:30 – 11:30 pm
Where: Beth’s makeover studio and home in Cabin John, MD. Address provided to those who RSVP. Park on the street. Parking is free and unlimited though streets are narrow. Please do not block driveways or fire hydrants.
RSVP: Please RSVP on Meetup or to me directly at Elizabeth.firstname.lastname@example.org if you’re not on Meetup.
To being fabulous!
Elizabeth Taylor (the birthday girl!)
Phone: 202-803-3231 (voice only)
Elizabeth (Beth) Taylor specializes in total makeovers, makeup artistry, photography, and coaching for transgender women.
I thought you might want to use a short testimonial (below). I have been privileged and blessed to have been involved some really cool events, and it occurred to me that in every photo, I am wearing makeup I bought from you that you taught me how to apply.
I wanted to say thank you for all the help you have given me and so many others along the way.
In each of these photos, I am wearing Younique cosmetics I purchased from Beth Taylor. Beth not only represents a great brand of high quality products, but I learned how to properly apply them and look my best at her makeup parties. She is also an exceptionally talented makeup artist and photographer, who makes each of her clients feel special and pampered.
When I needed to look my absolute best for a speech for an audience of about 1,000 people, including the governor of Virginia (top photo, second column from left), I of course turned to Beth to make sure my makeup was flawless.
She is a great friend and ally of the transgender community, and I am a huge fan of hers.
This is the first time we have hosted a Prom Night and we know that the theme resonates on many levels. Clearly, proms offer a fantastic fashion platform for all of us to explore and revel in. Rather than recycling old Halloween cliches (been there, done that), we wanted this season’s soiree to combine the best of 20th Century traditions and 21st Century sensibilities.
Prom Night lets us focus on our inherent femininity inside and out, the passions of youth, the desire for elegance, and dreams of romance. As adults we can and do fully appreciate such things but constraints may not have permitted us to enjoy our prom as we would have liked. Ah—but now we can create memories and do Prom Night the way it should have been—with all the joys of strutting your feminine side.
We are kicking off the evening with a hosted happy hour especially for new girls in Elizabeth (Beth) Taylor’s hotel room. Sip complimentary wine, ask any last-minute questions, get a final zip-up of that dress, and make sure you’re all set for your first soiree. We would love for experienced girls to join our happy hour and help our new girls feel confident.
We will enjoy our Prom Night Dinner from 6 to 8 p.m. followed by our Prom Soiree ’til the bar closes around midnight. Our own Monica Miller will be our in-house DJ, piping tunes through the bar’s sounds system.
Crash at the hotel to make your life easier. Be sure to book using our group rate of $99/night by calling Brittany (or Zak) directly at 240.235.1663. Tell her you are part of the “DC Regional Trans Ladies” and she will give you the rate. If the rate drops later, you’ll get the lower rate. If you are members of Hilton Honors, AAA, or AARP, you can get potentially get discounts for those if you choose to book online instead of using the group rate.
The Doubletree Hotel staff are eager to host us and build on our successes from our Summer in the City Soiree.
At our signature soirees, we invite trans-women, their partners, and friends socialize, network, and relax. We encourage new girls to come out to help boost their confidence and garner tips from those more experienced. And of course, we love having our regulars come out too!
If you’re not feeling ready for girl mode in public, you are still welcome to attend in guy mode. Upon arrival, introduce yourself as a member to the hosts, and we will welcome you warmly. Please consider joining us at the Pre-Soiree Prom Dinner in the hotel’s dining room. It is an opportunity to sit with your sisters and get to know them.
If you’re looking to get your Soiree makeup professionally applied, our very own Elizabeth Taylor (Beth) will be offering makeup makeovers at her room in the hotel (http://makeoverswithelizabethtaylor.fullslate.com). She is now booked for this event. Other makeover artists are listed on our Meetup’s discussion board.
Guest photographer Matt Anderson will be taking event photos during dinner and the Soiree. Matt will also be available for a limited number of private, 20-minute mini-shoots in Beth’s room for an additional fee. Check out his work at http://www.dvj.photography/ He can be reached at email@example.com and 301-661-2291. Or you can contact Beth to arrange/ask any questions.
We look forward to seeing you all at Prom Night: A Soiree to Remember!
Michelle, Monica, Suzanne, and Beth
RSVP for each Prom Night Soiree event here:
Hosted happy hour especially for new girls in Elizabeth (Beth) Taylor’s hotel room
Pre-Soiree Prom Dinner
Prom Night: A Soiree to Remember