Luna plays up her sensual side in these black and white boudoir images.
Model & MUA: Luna
Photographer: Elizabeth Anne Taylor
Question: Beth, my good friend, Jane, just confided in me that her college-age son, “John” (that’s the name I know him by), just came out to her as being a trans-woman and planning to transition. I’m close to “John” as well. How I can I support my friend and her child?
(Question adapted from recent conversations with clients and friends)
Answer: Dear Ally-in-Training, I’m so excited that you are supporting your friend and her child. I don’t have all the answers by any means, but here are some things to think about to help you support both of your friends.
First, I suggest talking to Jane and John (if you are friends with both) to find out what John’s preferred name and pronouns are. Your friend may not have realized to ask this question or may not have shared this level of detail with you yet.
Here are some possible scenarios:
By asking John directly what is preferred, you can then use John’s preferred name and pronouns in context and thus show support. Also, you can avoid outing John unintentionally by finding out John’s preferences.
Second, I suggest building your knowledge and your own support team as needed. Read up on the transgender experience so you can better understand what John may be going through. You can find a basic overview of transgender people at the Human Rights Campaign website including how to support them. PFLAG has an extensive primer called “Our Trans Loved Ones: Questions and Answers for Parents, Families, and Friends of People who are Transgender or Gender Expansive.” As you learn more from John and Jane, you can fine tune your research and reading.
You and Jane may benefit from a local support network for friends and family members of LGBTQ+ people. PFLAG has over 400 chapters across nearly all 50 states, Puerto Rico, and the District of Columbia. You can find a local chapter here. Read about why PFLAG exists and how society’s attitudes towards LGBTQ+ people have changed since 1973 when PFLAG began its work.
Ask John directly what kind of support is desired. Perhaps John wants to go shopping with you or Jane for gender-affirming clothes, hair, makeup, etc. or maybe John wants to this alone or with friends of college age. Each person is different in their journey and how they like to be supported.
Third, I suggest that you or Jane look into resources for John, who may already be well-connected or may have no clue about where to start. Or encourage John to do this kind of search. Your local LGBT Center and LGBT Medical/Health Center can be key to finding what you need.
In conclusion, listen to John and how they want to be supported. Be affirming with your use of John’s preferred name(s)/pronouns. Learn about the transgender community on your own so you have a framework of understanding when John describes experiences and feelings to you. Learn about resources for Jane and John so you can point them in the right direction(s) when they are ready. Encourage Jane to work through these steps too. This is not an exhaustive list of resources on how to be a good ally, but it should get you started in a positive direction.
Good luck and much happiness to you all on the journey ahead!
Join the DC Trans Ladies Meetup in a modern, dark, stylish room with full bar, a kick-ass sound system, and great food at Hanaro Restaurant and Lounge on Saturday, Dec. 8. From 7:30 p.m. to 9 p.m., women and their guests will enjoy awesome sushi and a pan-Asian menu. After dinner, we will mingle with the other patrons and gradually take over the bar, dancing if you wish.
Dinner: Fun atmosphere. Locally popular and highly regarded on Yelp, and deservedly so. Members of the DC Trans Ladies group and their guests only. Main event is open to all. Important to RSVP here so we have an accurate headcount for the restaurant.
Main Soiree: Starting 9ish, we mingle with the other patrons and gradually take over the bar. Dance. Or just inhale raw fish and Sapporo drafts. It’s all good. Due to the venue and format change, this event will be publicly listed and all are invited, including gentlemen. This change does not necessarily apply to future Soirees. View the main soiree event and RSVP here.
Dress: This is not the Ramada Inn and this is not a “gala,” so do not wear a sparkly floor-length gown. Wear either smart casual/neighborhood bar attire, or something just slightly dressier than that, such as a relatively plain cocktail dress. If uncertain, better to be more casual than formal.
Parking: The municipal garages are free on Saturdays; Hanaro is about 2 blocks from either the Woodmont Triangle garage (on Woodmont) and the St. Elmo/Cordell garage (you can enter from St. Elmo, just one long block west of Hanaro). Park on the street if you wish, but you will have to pay until 10 p.m. 12 minute walk from Bethesda Metro (Red Line).
Lodging: The Doubletree Bethesda is just 2 blocks away and welcomes us with open arms. Free parking is available at the city garage on weekends and is an easier fit for large vehicles (like SUVS, minivans, and pickup trucks) than the hotel parking garage, which has a daily fee.
Makeup Makeovers: Beth will be providing makeup makeovers at her home studio in Cabin John, Maryland.
•Live Acoustic Americana Music by Swamppoodle featuring Steph, Steve, and Giselle. Band will play in our backroom.
•Fire pit in the front circle garden with a s’mores station, weather permitting.
•Fall and Harvest-themed foods such as chili and cornbread
•Wine and beer
What to bring: Bring a beverage or healthy food item to share, preferably in the harvest/fall theme. (No birthday gifts, please.)
•I would love for us to taste test several chilis if you all feel up to the task. Come on, all you chili experts, cook up your best chili and bring it on over! This is not a competition, simply an exhibition!
•Please let us know what you plan to bring, especially if involves chili! This will really help out our menu planning.
What to wear: Fall and harvest-themed attire. Casual clothing is good as fire pits, s’mores, and chili aren’t kind to clothing.
•One example: jeans, boots, flannel shirt, cowgirl hat, big belt buckle. Another example: A-line dress, denim or leather jacket, tights, scarf, and booties.
•We are inviting the neighbors, family, and Giselle’s coworkers so no fetish attire, please.
Who: Friends, neighbors, clients, and coworkers of Beth and Giselle including members of the DC Trans Ladies Meetup group
When: Friday, November 9, 2018 from 7:30 – 11:30 pm
Where: Beth’s makeover studio and home in Cabin John, MD. Address provided to those who RSVP. Park on the street. Parking is free and unlimited though streets are narrow. Please do not block driveways or fire hydrants.
RSVP: Please RSVP on Meetup or to me directly at Elizabeth.firstname.lastname@example.org if you’re not on Meetup.
To being fabulous!
Elizabeth Taylor (the birthday girl!)
Phone: 202-803-3231 (voice only)
Elizabeth (Beth) Taylor specializes in total makeovers, makeup artistry, photography, and coaching for transgender women.
I thought you might want to use a short testimonial (below). I have been privileged and blessed to have been involved some really cool events, and it occurred to me that in every photo, I am wearing makeup I bought from you that you taught me how to apply.
I wanted to say thank you for all the help you have given me and so many others along the way.
In each of these photos, I am wearing Younique cosmetics I purchased from Beth Taylor. Beth not only represents a great brand of high quality products, but I learned how to properly apply them and look my best at her makeup parties. She is also an exceptionally talented makeup artist and photographer, who makes each of her clients feel special and pampered.
When I needed to look my absolute best for a speech for an audience of about 1,000 people, including the governor of Virginia (top photo, second column from left), I of course turned to Beth to make sure my makeup was flawless.
She is a great friend and ally of the transgender community, and I am a huge fan of hers.
Genny Beau decided it was time for new portraits! Check out this happy girl!
Model: Genny Beau
Photographer & MUA: Elizabeth Taylor
Book your makeover and photoshoot online at http://makeoverswithelizabethtaylor.fullslate.com
Who would be
A mermaid fair,
Combing her hair
Under the sea,
In a golden curl
With a comb of pearl,
On a throne?
I would be a mermaid fair;
I would sing to myself the whole of the day;
With a comb of pearl I would comb my hair;
And still as I comb’d I would sing and say,
‘Who is it loves me? who loves not me?’
I would comb my hair till my ringlets would fall
Low adown, low adown,
From under my starry sea-bud crown
Low adown and around,
And I should look like a fountain of gold
With a shrill inner sound
Over the throne
In the midst of the hall;
Till that great sea-snake under the sea
From his coiled sleeps in the central deeps
Would slowly trail himself sevenfold
Round the hall where I sate, and look in at the gate
With his large calm eyes for the love of me.
And all the mermen under the sea
Would feel their immortality
Die in their hearts for the love of me.
But at night I would wander away, away,
I would fling on each side my low-flowing locks,
And lightly vault from the throne and play
With the mermen in and out of the rocks;
We would run to and fro, and hide and seek,
On the broad sea-wolds in the crimson shells,
Whose silvery spikes are nighest the sea.
But if any came near I would call and shriek,
And adown the steep like a wave I would leap
From the diamond-ledges that jut from the dells;
For I would not be kiss’d by all who would list
Of the bold merry mermen under the sea.
They would sue me, and woo me, and flatter me,
In the purple twilights under the sea;
But the king of them all would carry me,
Woo me, and win me, and marry me,
In the branching jaspers under the sea.
Then all the dry-pied things that be
In the hueless mosses under the sea
Would curl round my silver feet silently,
All looking up for the love of me.
And if I should carol aloud, from aloft
All things that are forked, and horned, and soft
Would lean out from the hollow sphere of the sea,
All looking down for the love of me.